By Amy Clark
Guest Columnist
To me and many other Americans, it seems incomprehensible how our nation got to the point of us being sure of only one thing— that what will happen next in our government will come as a surprise to us. Given that reality, it was a relief for me to find a simple answer to why this is in a new book titled, Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths, by psychologist Bill Eddy.
According to Eddy, present government leaders with “high-conflict personalities” exhibit a pattern of increasing and prolonging conflicts rather than managing or resolving them.
Why would any American want a leader like that?
Apparently, someone with a high-conflict personality thinks all relationships are adversarial. “They are intensely driven to control, remove or destroy their perceived enemies,” Eddy explains. “When things go badly, they get more and more defensive and attack those around them. In order to appear superior, they must put other people down or blame them.”
Why do Americans choose people like this to lead them?
Eddy claims, “Wannabe Kings teach their followers that the targets chosen for them to hate and fear are evil, powerful, and plotting against them. Leaders like that train their supporters to lead chants hinting at violence (stochastic speech).”
Why is that so effective? Simply because high-emotions: fear, panic, jealousy, resentment, anger, and rage, are highly contagious. “When we are exposed to negative information and negative emotions repeatedly,” Eddy notes, “it’s easily absorbed without thinking. Our brains are very susceptible to simple phrases repeated over and over again. We remember them whether we want to or not.” That’s why advertising slogans work so well. “High-conflict politicians win votes through emotional repetitions of false statements hundreds of times until people begin to believe they are true,” Eddy complains.
That’s not all. Most importantly, they do everything they can to convince us there’s a terrible urgent crisis facing our country that must be acted on immediately. Lots of villains so they can look like a hero by comparison.
Eddy notes, “It’s tempting to want a strongman form of leadership during a crisis.” What’s the harm in that? “It’s common for them to attack the democratic process of elections and to say that they are rigged,” Eddy warns. The crises they latch onto always come with specific individuals and groups within their nation to attack and blame, of course.
Why is this so destructive?
It’s a distraction from working together to solve long-term problems, for one thing, and causes a country to fracture into opposing groups: loyalists, resisters, those who sit on the fence, and people just totally disgusted with the political chaos. “Everyone knows that personal attacks are inappropriate in solving modern problems,” Eddy emphasizes. “The skill of compromise is what our nation was founded on and how all laws since then have been made.”
Unfortunately, our most successful attribute as humans can be used to manipulate us. “The strongest human bond there is,” Eddy reveals, “is joining together in battle against an enemy and sharing the same beliefs about the enemy.”
Where does that leave us? We are cautioned to be much more aware of the personal characteristics of people we choose to lead us and represent us. Personalities matter, especially in the spotlight of the world’s public eye.
We need people skilled in reconciliation, not warfare, regardless of their gender or race.
